Mugens Wifey! (earthguardian) wrote in totemists,
Mugens Wifey!

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Trickster Tarantula


I'm new here! And I have a question for the community. For a long time I had known that Cat is a totem of mine, but then I found an exercise on Moonvoice's website, Wildspeak, and decided to do it for fun. To keep a long story short, she suggested that it is a trickster spider from the way it was acting during the meditation. So I tried to do another meditation with Tarantula last night, and got odd results:

I took a few breaths and found myself in the place where I first met Tarantula. This time, though, he seemed really serious. Then we ended up in a long, dirt tunnel (which I figured was a burrow) and I remember asking Tarantula if it was a man or a woman. I got the impression that it was a man, but that it didn't matter. Tarantula walked up ahead of me, and I followed it deeper into the tunnel until we came to a cavern with a small fire going. Odd, I thought. So I'm sitting there, and I confess to Tarantula that I'm scared of it (I'm sure I'm borderline phobic when it comes to spiders) but I wanted to get to know him better. And I reached out to touch him, and he let me sort of pet him on the head, and even closed his eyes in contentment. And the next thing I know is that he tackles me to the ground. I roll out of it, and Tarantula ends up on the other wise of the room. I call out to it, "What are you doing?!" and he lounges at me again, and I get a good glimpse of its underbelly. And, I guess my fear got so intense, I jolted out of it.

However, I don't feel like Tarantula was trying to hurt me in any way, or that he was angry with me. But I found the entire experience to be incredibly odd, and with my fear of spiders, it frightened me as well.

So my question is: what exactly does this mean? I'm sort of afraid to go back and see him again, even though I know I have to (and will eventually). Also, I'm curious if other people have any experiences with trickster tarantula as well.

Thanks for your insight.
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